Don't Tell Me to Have Kids at 23
If one more human tells me that my biological clock is ticking, I am going to take off my size 5 shoe and throw it at them as hard as I can. Since I am about to graduate, I'm getting many questions about what I am going to do with the rest of my life. Understandably so. But I am tired of people telling me my plans sound incomplete because they don't involve any miniature humans. I guess it is a weird concept for people to understand that a woman is capable of not wanting kids.
It's not even really that I don't like kids. I don't mind kids. Kids today are scary. They are growing up in such a hard time. They are growing up attached to phones by the age of two and capable of picking up vast life concepts by five.
One of my best friends has a two year old and a five year old. The two year old screams bloody murder if you won't let him have a tablet and the five year old was greatly concerned when Trump was elected. A five year old. He asked me if he was going to have to be a villain because we elected a villain as our leader. I then had to explain that he doesn't have to be anybody he doesn't want to be. I had to explain this to a five year old. Maybe I am a little jaded. Maybe it is normal for a five year old to have a deeper understanding of life. I'm just not used to it. But it absolutely blew my mind.
They are wonderful kids. I love them dearly. It's exciting to watch them grow. The biggest difference is, I'm not raising them. I'm not making their life decisions. I'm not responsible for making sure they don't grow up to be serial killers.
I guess that is the idea that messes with me the most. I don't want to be responsible for a potentially screwing up another human being. Especially with kids now. They're exposed to so much. The percentage of suicides among teenagers is rising. There are suicidal seven year olds. There are violent 10 year olds. By the time they're teenagers, they're almost scary. Scary isn't necessarily the correct word. Nerve-racking is the better word.
I also don't want to be responsible for bringing another human into this world and having them develop my same issues. I don't want to have a kid with depression. I don't want to have a kid with anxiety. I remember what it was like being a kid and dealing with those things - hell, I know what it is like to be 23 and still dealing with those things.
Knowing that sometimes, even if you do everything right. You do everything the books say. You still may end up having a kid with those issues.
I don't want to put another human through that.
People don't understand that though. People think women that don't want kids are just ice queens. We're career obsessed. We aren't family oriented. We're selfish. Blah blah blah.
I think it's selfish to assume I have to have a kid just because I'm a woman. Women aren't just here to be mothers. We're more than that.
We can want other things, and we do want other things. Woman doesn't automatically equal mother. Stop associating the two together.
It's not even really that I don't like kids. I don't mind kids. Kids today are scary. They are growing up in such a hard time. They are growing up attached to phones by the age of two and capable of picking up vast life concepts by five.
One of my best friends has a two year old and a five year old. The two year old screams bloody murder if you won't let him have a tablet and the five year old was greatly concerned when Trump was elected. A five year old. He asked me if he was going to have to be a villain because we elected a villain as our leader. I then had to explain that he doesn't have to be anybody he doesn't want to be. I had to explain this to a five year old. Maybe I am a little jaded. Maybe it is normal for a five year old to have a deeper understanding of life. I'm just not used to it. But it absolutely blew my mind.
They are wonderful kids. I love them dearly. It's exciting to watch them grow. The biggest difference is, I'm not raising them. I'm not making their life decisions. I'm not responsible for making sure they don't grow up to be serial killers.
I guess that is the idea that messes with me the most. I don't want to be responsible for a potentially screwing up another human being. Especially with kids now. They're exposed to so much. The percentage of suicides among teenagers is rising. There are suicidal seven year olds. There are violent 10 year olds. By the time they're teenagers, they're almost scary. Scary isn't necessarily the correct word. Nerve-racking is the better word.
I also don't want to be responsible for bringing another human into this world and having them develop my same issues. I don't want to have a kid with depression. I don't want to have a kid with anxiety. I remember what it was like being a kid and dealing with those things - hell, I know what it is like to be 23 and still dealing with those things.
Knowing that sometimes, even if you do everything right. You do everything the books say. You still may end up having a kid with those issues.
I don't want to put another human through that.
People don't understand that though. People think women that don't want kids are just ice queens. We're career obsessed. We aren't family oriented. We're selfish. Blah blah blah.
I think it's selfish to assume I have to have a kid just because I'm a woman. Women aren't just here to be mothers. We're more than that.
We can want other things, and we do want other things. Woman doesn't automatically equal mother. Stop associating the two together.
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